When I die, I want this song to be played at my funeral..
:)
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
We were not made for here..
The CS Lewis Song
If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared
[CHORUS]
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me
Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become
[CHORUS]
[BRIDGE]
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming
If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared
[CHORUS]
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me
Am I lost or just less found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
'Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become
[CHORUS]
[BRIDGE]
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming
Saturday, July 11, 2009
the 21st
Esther the child : Well.. ladies and gentleman.. It's been great knowing you. I shall take my leave..
Esther the adult: NO NO NOO.. don't go! I don't know how to do this.. I can't pilot this on my own!
Esther the child: Hey.. I'm exhausted.. it's YOUR turn to run the show.. give me my well deserved break..
Esther the adult: *sobs quietly*.. but.. but.. I'm so scared..
Esther the child: *sighs* okayy okayy.. I'll promise i'll come back.. whenever you need a break.. BUT.. ONLY when it's ABSOLUTELY necessary.. I won't have you taking advantage of this.. This girl is a slave-driver, I tell you, when it comes to displaying immaturity and childishness. If I take over too often, she might want to keep me in charge forever..
Esther the adult: *mutters under her breath* that's the plan, dummy..
Friday, July 10, 2009
Faith not in the wisdom of Men, but the Power of God.
The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord,
He is their strength in times of trouble.
And the Lord shall help them and deliver them;
He shall deliver them from the wicked,
And save them,
Because they trust in Him.
Psalm 37:39,40
Just recently, due to the news of the ethnic riots in Xin Jiang between the Uighurs and the Han Chinese, I have taken an interest in Chinese political history. So, whenever I have pockets of time at work, I read articles on Wikipedia about Chinese politicians, Deng Xiao Ping, Chiang Kai Shek, Sun Yat Sen, Zhou YiYang and other prominent events that happened in China like the Tiananmen Square Massacre and the persecution of Fa-Lun Gong practitioners.
That led me to think about persecution A lot, and Martyrdom and suffering for the sake of Christ's Name. While Michael and I were talking about the persecution that may happen, ( or is already happening to missionaries and other people that governments hate ), I was pretty troubled and for awhile, in my arrogance, thought, 'I can do this, it'll only be awhile'. In my pride I forgot that it is the Lord that determines our days and that He cares about us. I was chastized when Michael mentioned that God takes care of His people. my heart was moved to realize that it is not MY righteous sacrifice when I go through pain; I can do NOTHING in order to please God. It's all His grace!
This morning, I read Psalm 37, and it talks about not worrying about evildoers and comparing the "blessings" on the righteous and the wicked. The Lord keeps count of each man(and woman).
God's got really funny timing.. I think He gave me this word to sober and wake me up from my constant pessimism and my skeptism. I always doubt whether people will change for the better, or the world will ever become a better place, my friends (who are SO close to my heart) EVER repenting and (re)turning to Christ, or my own self, ever unfaithful and sinful. whether I will ever stop being stupid and surrender all to God. I guess was projecting my disappointment on God and inadverdantly blaming Him for whatever logic/reason I don't know.. Humans are a magnet for trouble.. We jump into so many complicating problems on our own. I wonder How God can stay patient with us. But, He forgives those who ask for forgiveness, and He always HOPES, Always is Patient, Kind, Always perseveres,and Endures all things. He is Love. and Love NEVER FAILS..
I am VERY thankful that God decided to pull me out of my pit and set my feet on a rock, I intentionally make that rock slippery for myself frequently. Sometimes, I get self-righteous and think I'm better than all my friends that I know have backslidden.
Boy am I Wrong.
It is only by His grace that He pulled me out of the Sh**Hole I purposely jumped into, and He in His love, cleaned me up and adorned me with beautiful new clothes, and a new identity ~ A Child of the King. When I am unfaithful and lavish attention on my idols, and think of myself as deserving of Salvation, I am always reminded that I am starting to look more and more like the woman depicted in Ezekiel 16. an unfaithful bride/ like Hosea's wife.
He's Soooo faithful, and HE is indefinitely Mighty to Save!
Song of the week: Hosea's Wife ( Brooke Fraser )
Currently Obsessed with :
Artist John Waterhouse:
Lady of Shalott
He is their strength in times of trouble.
And the Lord shall help them and deliver them;
He shall deliver them from the wicked,
And save them,
Because they trust in Him.
Psalm 37:39,40
Just recently, due to the news of the ethnic riots in Xin Jiang between the Uighurs and the Han Chinese, I have taken an interest in Chinese political history. So, whenever I have pockets of time at work, I read articles on Wikipedia about Chinese politicians, Deng Xiao Ping, Chiang Kai Shek, Sun Yat Sen, Zhou YiYang and other prominent events that happened in China like the Tiananmen Square Massacre and the persecution of Fa-Lun Gong practitioners.
That led me to think about persecution A lot, and Martyrdom and suffering for the sake of Christ's Name. While Michael and I were talking about the persecution that may happen, ( or is already happening to missionaries and other people that governments hate ), I was pretty troubled and for awhile, in my arrogance, thought, 'I can do this, it'll only be awhile'. In my pride I forgot that it is the Lord that determines our days and that He cares about us. I was chastized when Michael mentioned that God takes care of His people. my heart was moved to realize that it is not MY righteous sacrifice when I go through pain; I can do NOTHING in order to please God. It's all His grace!
This morning, I read Psalm 37, and it talks about not worrying about evildoers and comparing the "blessings" on the righteous and the wicked. The Lord keeps count of each man(and woman).
God's got really funny timing.. I think He gave me this word to sober and wake me up from my constant pessimism and my skeptism. I always doubt whether people will change for the better, or the world will ever become a better place, my friends (who are SO close to my heart) EVER repenting and (re)turning to Christ, or my own self, ever unfaithful and sinful. whether I will ever stop being stupid and surrender all to God. I guess was projecting my disappointment on God and inadverdantly blaming Him for whatever logic/reason I don't know.. Humans are a magnet for trouble.. We jump into so many complicating problems on our own. I wonder How God can stay patient with us. But, He forgives those who ask for forgiveness, and He always HOPES, Always is Patient, Kind, Always perseveres,and Endures all things. He is Love. and Love NEVER FAILS..
I am VERY thankful that God decided to pull me out of my pit and set my feet on a rock, I intentionally make that rock slippery for myself frequently. Sometimes, I get self-righteous and think I'm better than all my friends that I know have backslidden.
Boy am I Wrong.
It is only by His grace that He pulled me out of the Sh**Hole I purposely jumped into, and He in His love, cleaned me up and adorned me with beautiful new clothes, and a new identity ~ A Child of the King. When I am unfaithful and lavish attention on my idols, and think of myself as deserving of Salvation, I am always reminded that I am starting to look more and more like the woman depicted in Ezekiel 16. an unfaithful bride/ like Hosea's wife.
He's Soooo faithful, and HE is indefinitely Mighty to Save!
Song of the week: Hosea's Wife ( Brooke Fraser )
Currently Obsessed with :
Artist John Waterhouse:
Lady of Shalott
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